Circular Arguments

It is a miserable, cold wet afternoon and have just had a really hot bath and for the first time this week my bones are warm and I won’t need a second pair of socks until the steam dies off my feet.

The bath was hot because I finally braved the basement, which can be a challenge, as some people understand, and turned the water heater up from where it was set, at medium. Again.

This will be a constant battle until April or May. It always is. I turn the water heater up, Greg turns it down.

Why does it have to be so high? He says.

Because I want a hot bath.

But I get a hot bath without turning up the heat. It’s a waste of money.

But, my sweet (I don’t actually say that, but you need to think I’m nicer than I am), I don’t displace water the way you do. You fill the tub half way, get in, and the water goes up to your chin. If I do the same, all sorts of parts that need to be submerged are floating like icebergs on the surface.

This is an argument he distrusts.

We have similar arguments that go around and around to nowhere. Like this recent one, in the garden.

I’m contemplating the sickly red caladium, which is right next to healthy, bushy greenish white caladium with the red splotches, when Prince Mishkin wanders past on his way to the garage.

What’s that thing? He says.

It’s a caladium.

He scratches bald spot and says, So what’s wrong with it?

I don’t know. It’s just…not doing well.

What's that nice thing next to it?

 

It’s a caladium.

One's green and one's red?

Uh huh.

So why is this one dying when it’s right next to the other?

I don’t know.

Did it get too much water? 

I don’t know.

Did you over feed it?

Shrug.

Well what’s wrong with it?

I DON’T KNOW.

He wanders over to the pond.

There’s a dead fish.

Oh.

Why did it die.

I don’t know.

Well, there has to be a reason.

It was old?

Did it get sick?

Shrug.

The others are fine.

Uh huh.

So why did it die?

OY! GO AWAY AND REPAIR SOMETHING.

I need another pair of socks now.