I am about to provide you with some foresight. Yay. Something useful for a change.
Remember this from several posts back?
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| old news |
The garden witch at Eastern Market swore that this $20 (gag) bunch of jolly green poofs would last me three weeks. It did not. We just passed two weeks and I have discarded all but one branch and that one branch has a few sad pendules suspenduled and, you might note, these are beginning to seep a silky fuzz from barely visible cracks.
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| close up of fuzzy stuff |
The worst of it happened late last week, when the branches now discarded exploded behind the sofa and I carefully lifted them from the vase and tiptoed with them to the kitchen sink as fairy fluffs flew off floating (sorry-- say that three times fast) themselves in the shimmering dust that is the air in the living room.
AND THEN THEY WENT INSANE, sticking to the damp of the kitchen sink and the towels I attempted to use to mop them up and spraying the counter along with the this and that I keep about and catching in my hair and my clothes and my f-ing contact lenses, you should pardon my French. We will be eating this stuff for days. I now stick to serving white foods.
I thought as I cursed and dusted and mopped that I should really take a photo of this for the blog because it is ridiculous and a perfect example of how things go wrong with my tidy little life that seems so genius and self-satisfied at some moments and then laughs hysterically as I flail about.
Living is a treacherous thing to do. You never know. You just never never know.
Do you realize I seldom edit myself? That is an aside. It is also why you find commas and such in strange places.
Anyway, to resume, we are down to a few of these poof balls, a sorry display that is now seeping and about to explode one final time and I hope I remember not to buy these things (which I still don't know the name of) ever ever again.
They did look pretty though, didn't they?
That looks...inappropriate
ReplyDeleteWhat part of what is inappropriate?
DeleteMuch less...becoming...after a few weeks. I think what your dear daughter is trying to tell you is that you chanced upon a plant that, were it painted by Ms. O'Keefe, would not have have left viewers comparing it to the FEMALE anatomy... Sad since they were so pretty at one time!
Deletep.s. After taking home a centerpiece from E's sister's wedding that has a huge block of floral foam in it, I have been making my own arrangements with bush and tree branches after feeling inspired by your arrangements :)
Oh Liz, I kvell at the thought that someone takes something of use from my dribbles.
ReplyDeleteThose are some crazy images. Guess I'll not be coming for the Trattoria bar sitting until the floating fairy fluffs are all dissipated. Sorry politicos - your loss.
ReplyDeleteha ha ha!! This cracked me up! "Evil witch cackles gleefully as she sells overpriced exploding puff balls to unsuspecting villager." I think a pitchfork and burning torch will rid you of the rest of the accursed fluff. Or at least burn down the house so you never have to clean it up.
ReplyDeleteNow I hear, although Diana could be joking, that these things are weeds and within the cursed fluffs are seeds and if I blow on said fluff (outside) the seeds will spread and engulf the neighborhood and possibly the Capitol grounds them/itself/s with exploding puff balls and the Capitol militia will arrive with their weapons of assault and send me to prison in -- CUBA? There's something very 60s revolutionary about this that I think I like. And I've always wanted to live in the tropics.
ReplyDelete