Sunday, January 22, 2012

Gnome Busting

Down the block, the garden of twee continues its alarming and sinister growth. Each month there's something new  -- another fairy on a rock, one more miniature bench -- added to a repulsively sweet scene that I described here and will not go into again, except to point out the chateau (above left) that recently sprouted among the fauxfirs. There's even a bloody gnome at the front door (right). Well, actually, OF COURSE there's a bloody gnome at the front door (right). In fact, the gnome was the first step in this unholy installation.(RIGHT).

Although, I'll concede, that it is a tastefully beige gnome. The Restoration Hardware approved version of gnomehood -- gnomekind?.

Thankfully, Utah State University's agricultural center has issued a video tackling at least the gnomish aspect of this garden pestilence...this frightening creep of adorability. "DON'T BE FOOLED BY THEIR CUTE NATURE," we're warned. If you have a gnome anywhere in your vicinity, take action NOW. Pink flamingos are said to be useful deterrents and small dogs appear promising.... watch here:

Stop COOING. This is repulsive stuff. And I want this man's job.

Thank you once again Diana McLellan for your Utube vigilance.

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